I'm sorry

And in that moment I wonder
Did I scare you away?
Will you ever look at me the same?
Am I so different from all the other girls?
Did I cross a line?

oh god...
Do you hate me?
I love you
Don't you know that?
Why can't I make you see

Perfection
You're perfect for me
Oh.. I'm sorry
I shouldn't have said that
I'm sorry

Reality

Sky full of stars
    But all I see are broken hearts
The wind's blowing leaves
    Like a whisper it says "too late"
The suns gone down
    leaving me in his darkness

Why can't the wind pick me up
    Carry me away
Why can't the rain fall on me
    Wash away this pain
Why can't the sun light up this world of mine
    Chase away the permanent nightmares

On top of a building I feel the wind blow
    Feeling like a feather
The cars rush below me, look at them go
    They don't care
That the city appears to go on forever
    No one stops just to stare

Take in all that's around you
    Before it's too late...
Don't let your sorrows drown you
    banish the hate... Too late
Forever becomes a reality
    When you feel loves cold embrace.

The rose

My skin crawls
The shadow people call to me
It's a dream come true
But not one of those normal dreams
A nightmare
A million eyes watch me
Appearing on my walls
As one becomes a physical being
It steps forward to speak to me
"You're an old and young soul,
Perfect and unnatural,
A wonderful mix of all that is"
I burst in to tears
"Is this my end?"
"Yes" He reaches for my hand
I don't want to take it yet
I think about life
It's beautiful and cruel
Even the prettiest flowers die eventually
But I am far from being the prettiest flower
So why do I deserve to live?
Because I know to acknowledge the pretty flowers?
I don't want to follow this shadow
But I know I will have to
I can't think of a reason I need to be here still
"Can I have one more day?" I plead with him
After a minute he agrees
Leaving me with a smile
And a wonder of whether it happened or not
For a moment I think it's just a dream
Until I look down and notice the rose tattooed upon my arm
It's a reminder with each dying petal that my time is coming
And the reminder that he will return
Keeps me up all night.

Something new

Every day is an adventure
Made only for those prepared to explore
There are traps and tripping hazards
Placed on the path before you
If you walk without looking you  will surly fall

Each day is a battle
We all have our scars to show
They glow under the black light of our hearts
There to remind us that last time it was a mistake
This time won't be any different

Every day we run the risk
That a friend will turn their back on us
But those friends are easily replaced
Because after all
Why keep fake people around

Every day is an challenge
Filled with every day decisions
A new test every day
But at least we learn
It's a beautiful thing we do

Every day is an adventure
Full of battles
And risks
And challenges
But at least we have learned something new.

What happens when I go on a poem generator at 3am [Lover]

We were best friends
And I will tell you before this poem ends
Why I am happy now
So happy that... Meow
What was that all about
You're wondering what I'm on now no doubt

I wrote this poem already
The format was pretty steady
And the rhyme scheme was worse
But I killed it while changing a verse
So here I am again
Writing this time as if at a ten

But here's why I started
at one point we parted
And I missed my best friend
Worried that all we had, had come to an end
three months felt like forever
When we weren't together

I think it was healthier for us that way
What can I say
In that time we grew up a lot
Each with a love not easily bought
Seeing you again after all that time
Was worth the mountain I had to climb

And now our friendship has changed
We are no longer estranged
I can look in to your eyes
And time just flies
I guess it's time for this poem to end
I love you, my lover, and best friend

My forever friend

My best friend for three years

You always wanted to be with me
We finally took the plunge
Was it worth all the fighting
And the break up that crushed me
Is it worth the hate I feel growing some days
That is covered up by the love I feel for you
Is it worth my tears every time I think of you
A learning experience they call it
What did we learn?
That eventually all good things come to an end?
Because that's all I am getting from this.

When I said you ruined everything I wasn't being fair
We ruined everything
For example...
Cuddling you has forever been ruined
Hugging you will never be the same
The song I wrote about you makes me cry now...
All the I love yous feel like a lie.
And why?
Because we insisted on being more
We broke what was a perfect friendship
In the name what we called love
At the sake of our perfect friendship.

Whenever you smile at me now
It feels like a slap in the face
I retreat to a corner in my brain and cry
Scumbag brain says
"Look at that smile, it used to be just for you"
At some point I fell in love with you
I don't remember when it was
But I remembered to tell you everyday
I didn't want you to forget...
And now we're back to friends
So here's 1400 letters to you
My forever friend

We may have ruined everything.
But at least we ruined it together...

A Night Sky Between Us

Looking in to the night sky,
I've never felt so alone.
There isn't a soul in sight,
Minus my 3 legged dog sniffing a bush next to me.
The world is quiet strangely,
And I can't help but notice,
I want to be next to him,
But the wind tells me to stand still.
Feeling like I will grow mad in the silence,
I let the world back in,
No longer fearing its sounds.
"I love you" I whisper in to the darkness,
Knowing that no one can hear me.
I feel in my heart that I just needed to say it.
I wonder for a second if he is thinking of me as well,
Casting the idea aside,
I call to my dog, and I walk home.

I don't know why

Sometimes I hate myself

I don't really know why

I just do

Sometimes I cry

I don't know why

I just do

Sometimes I hate who I am

I always know why

It has something to do with you

Sometimes I cry

And sometimes I know why

Tonight it's because I miss you

This isn't fair

Pay no mind to this shadow across my eyes

I know how much she means to you

I'll take a step back and let her have you

I understand when I have lost

She is better than me, I know it.

Self esteem shattered, fuck it.

Dreams crashed and burned, I don't care.

You love her, how is this fair.

I'll pretend that you holding my hand

Was like an extra long handshake for friends

The loving words you said

Were meant for her or I just misread them

She's nicer than me, that's laughable.

Hearts broken, my tears show it.

I'm crushed, and you don't care.

She doesn't love you, this isn't fair.

No answered prayers

I've cried enough tears

To fill the oceans with salt

Bled all the blood

That I had to bleed

All in your name lord

So why have you forgotten me

Should I sit and be quiet for a while

Maybe

Or maybe I should just give up

Say hey maybe God doesn't exist

But what if he does

Then I would be wrong...

Would it be worth it

I don't know

But all I know is

I am questioning everything

And getting no answers...

I pray every night and every day

But all I get is silence

And a slap in the face

Over and over

I'm fighting with reality

And praying

But none of the prayers are answered...

Someone

There are tears in her eyes

And blood on her arms

She needs someone

There are tears in his eyes

And her bloods on his hands

He was that someone

There are tears in her eyes

And she is holding him

She wants him to be her one

There are tears in his eyes

and a note in his hands

He wants to be her one

There are tears in their eyes

Because everyone needs someone

But no one knows who that is...

Fading to Nothing

What am I doing here?

Can someone tell me?

Anyone?

I honestly don't know...

The people all around me

They look at me

With such sadness in their eyes

I don't know why their crying

Can someone answer me

I don't know why they don't answer me...

Why are you sad? I try to yell

No sound comes out

Am I deaf?

Mute?

I wish I was blind...

Then maybe I wouldn't see these tears

Hear these people crying

Why can't I call out to them

Maybe they just can't hear me

The smells in here are so confusing

I don't know what's going on

I hear a beeping and it starts getting faster

I'm scared

I don't know why

I feel so numb

Why is everyone here?

I don't know

Can someone tell me?

Anyone?

In the distance I hear a lots of beeping

As everything starts to fade.

Maybe One Day

This distance is crazy

My feet are so damn sore

From walking to you every night

You just take one look at me

And then you shut the door in my face

I don`t know why I keep coming back to you

You told me to leave a year or so ago

But I guess I like this pain

Because I keep coming back for more

At one time you called me daughter

Told me you loved me every day

For some reason I believed you

Even though I could hear the scorn in your voice

One day father I hope

Maybe one day you'll let me back in.

The Things I Could Do

I could climb the tallest mountain

To prove that i love you

But I'm tired from the battle

So i think I'll stay right here for a while

I could cry all the tears of the sea

To show you how sad I am to see you leave

But my eyes have become dry 

So I think I'll try to smile for a while

I could sit on a cliff and feel safe

If you sat there beside me 

But you've let me fall once before

So I think I'll stand on solid ground for a while

There are many things I could do for you

But the battle has me beaten and sad

So I think I'll just live for me for a while

Let you fight for me now instead.

For One Night

A warm breeze blows my hair

The stars glow brightly above

I walk towards the sound of water

I can hear the beauty all around me

Even if I can't see it

It's better this way I think

I can imagine what the beauty looks like

Pretend it isn't destroyed like it is

The gravel beneath my feet used to be grass

The smell in the air used to be clean

Now all I can smell is burning all around me

But it's nice to pretend

That the reason I can't see the moon

Is because of the trees that aren't around me anymore

And not because of the smoke that has filled the sky

It's nice to pretend

Just for one night.

Change Your Mind

You say you stand for something

You tell others to believe in themselves

Yet I come home every day

See the cuts crawling up your arm

The drugs are in your system

So you just laugh it off and avoid your new "friends"

In a couple days you'll go back

Say "I relapsed, please forgive me"

Then you'll go a couple days

Telling yourself "I'm better, I can do it this time"

In a few days you'll open the bottle again

Take a couple and laugh some more

Or maybe you'll fill your pipe

Take a couple hits and eat till you fall down

Only then you'll call yourself fat and the cuts will grow

The days without eating will start to show

Your friends will ask questions

Your family will try to help

But you've locked yourself in a box

Built up the walls and convinced yourself this is the right way

You find your little bottle

Swallow whats left

Lick your finger and get whats left on the bottom

Make sure you got it all

Because you think you made the right choice don't you

You start to laugh like you always do

Then the world starts to go black and you get cold

You're scared now aren't you

I wish I could have changed your mind

Come here, I'll hold you till the ambulance gets here

No don't worry I called them when I heard you laughing

They will be here soon

It'll all be over soon

Never forget dearest one

"I love you"

The hardest thing I do

Sitting in this meadow

I feel you touch my hand with yours

Pulling away from you is the hardest thing I do

As all around us the rain pours

I look up in to your eyes one last time

And see the hurt that I have caused

Walking away from you is the hardest thing I do

And in that moment I wish I hadn't paused

You take me by the hand

Pull me close and hug me like you never had before

In this moment I feel the tears in my eyes

I can't hide them from you so you just hug me more

I wish I could promise you forever

But we both know that can't be

Forever is just a dream

And unfortunately for us it was one I had for you and me

Memories Of You

My hands tremble

As I reach for you

My voice waivers

As I call to you

My mind races

As I think of you

You scare me

And make me feel safe

You make me happy

And sad

You said you wouldn't leave

And you did

My hands tremble

As I let go

My voice waivers

As I say good-bye

My mind races

With memories of you

You made me so happy

And your memories still do

You said you wouldn't leave

And you did

Gone

I got so used to you being here

That it feels weird that you're gone

I think of holding your hand and

Feel your touch once again

But when I look down

You're gone

I got so used to you holding me

As we fell asleep in my bed at night

I think of your laugh

Sometimes I think I hear it at night

I turn on the light so I can see you

You're gone

I got so used to you loving me

Hearing you say my name

The music in your voice

Some say I should let go

I don't want to but I know

You're gone

I will never stop loving you

Even though you're in a better place

Sometimes I wish that you weren't gone

You were my best friend and lover

And I would love to see you just one more time

You're gone

We could

Lets hold hands

Forget the world for a day

We could go anywhere

Or we could stay right here

Lets do something, anything

And forget the world for a while

We could be each others answer

To a question no one bothered to ask

Lets be friends, best friends, maybe more

And not tell a soul

We could love one another

And no one would have to know

Lets hold hands

And forget the world for a day

Because no one matters but you and me

Oh well

Hearing you say her name

Will that ever become easy?

I die inside a little every time

Because sometimes I wish that was me

That you still cared about

And sometimes I wish you still wanted to hold my hand

But then I think of him

And the feeling fades

Because I know that it's just

A knee-jerk reaction

And it will soon go away

Just like you did

And I'm happier now with him

Then I ever was with you

He makes me smile every day

I smile just at the mention of his name

You had your chance and you lost it

And considering where I am right now

And considering who I am with now

There's only so much I can say

So lets start with

Just a couple of my favourites

Oh well...

All I know

I swear this is the truth

And nothing more

I truly do care about you

That's all I know

I know this is true

Because I can't get

You outta my head

That's all I know

I feel this is true

We could have a future

Cause you make me smile

That's all I know

I want this to be true

You're mine to hold

Cause it's what feels right

That's all I know

You're all I know

Long before good-bye

It hurt more then I thought,

To hear her saying your name.

It's not that I still love you,

Because I don't.

But I should have seen the red flags,

Like when you stopped holding my hand,

Whenever someone else was there.

When a solid "I love you"

turned into a quiet "I love.. you..."

You didn't think I knew,

But you stopped loving me,

Long before you said good-bye.

Pain

No one knows your pain

The way that I do

I can feel each cut on your arm

Like it was on my own

No one knows your hurt

The way that I do

I can feel each tear on your cheek

Like they were my own

No one knows your hate

The way that I do

I can feel each angry thought you think

Like they are my own

No one knows your smile

The way that I do

I can almost see it

Like you're standing right with me right now

No one knew you

The way that I did

But you didn't notice

Or you wouldn't have left...

A lie

I've hurt to many people

I can hear their screams in the night

They haunt me

With every word I say...

...Every lie

I die a little more inside

Because I know I hurt another person

Add another soul to the board

She killed another

That's what the devil says

Whenever I speak a word

A lie

Because the truth is to revealing

And my walls won't allow one out

I've hurt to many people

I can hear their screams at night

As the devil takes another life

Human

She is a bright girl

Yes

But also quite slow

I guess...

The things her friends say about her

They don't know it hurts

Because she is "slow"

She just tries to work through it

She is a great friend

Yes

But not always there...

Okay...

She struggles with family problems

And sometimes becomes distant

She just needs to work through this one thing

Then she'll be fine again

She is a role model

Yes

But not always

umm, okay..?

She tries her hardest to be someone

That kids can look up to

Someone she never had as a kid

But some people don't see it

She is human

On some level

Love

 Originality

  Variety

    Experiences

Everyday is a new experience so remember

Variety is the spice of life

Originality is what makes us... well us

Love is what we live for

Because people love us

Our originality

Our personality

We can love us... one another to maybe

We can Live

Because everyone is Original

People have Variety and personality

People are Exceptional

And everyone is different

Including you and I

Lets be different together maybe?

And then one day

Love on some level

Will find us.

Stop...

I've been told to follow

  Follow my heart

  My dreams

  This person or the next

It's like I am playing a lifelong game

A version of Simon says

I'm just following a leader

Just doing what I am told

I've been told to dream

Been told to live them

And in that same breath

They tell me to give up and go home

And the broadest of all

I should follow my heart?

Let it get me into trouble

So people can tell em to do something else

The thing with people is

They always tell you what to do

Never really let you live your life

Let you use your own brain

Stop dreaming and do

Stop listening and think for yourself

Stop following and go

Stop hating and love <3

The crows

The crows come out at night

Just to watch you sleep

Clawing at your windows

Trying to wake you up.

The crows come out at night

just to make you scream

Shadows crawling across the wall

Watching you while you dream.

The crows come out at night

Following you down the street

All you hear is the flap of wings

Making your heart skip a beat.

The crows come out at night

Watching, hoping you'll scream

Laughter follows you away

As the crows infect your dreams.

Hate me

Cry, because I am evil

Fight, because it's as physical as we get now

Run, because there's no other way out

Scream, because someone might hear you

Hate me, because I gave you a reason right

Call me, because no one else will come

Use me, because I'll let you

But don't hate me because I was there

Hate me because I left...

My baby sister...

She's fragile

But she doesn't show it

She could break any minute

But she lives without caution

Stepping on the cracks sometimes

She's my baby sister

I couldn't imagine life without her in it

Sometimes she lives with care

And sometimes she's just carefree

And I love her so

She builds up all these walls

And even though it's a struggle

She climbs the wall

And builds another on the other side

Just to do it all over again

She's so fragile

And I would do anything for her

Even though she doesn't show it

She could break any minute

I would do anything for her

I fell...

He said I was beautiful

He said I was smart

He said I was perfect

He built a beautiful pedestal for me

And he demanded that I not fall off

But I did of course and it hurt

Because he walked away from the broken pieces

Sighing and shaking his head

Mumbling something like "I knew it..."

I sat and cried for a minute

To startled to realize

I still had the legs to get up and walk away

The eyes to see where I needed to go

The heart within my chest beating to let me know "you're alive so live"

The hand and arms to hold things and people close

The friends to keep me company when I was unperfect

And the will to say "no, no I'm perfect just the way I am"

«If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.» — Martin Luther King Jr.

Don't

Don't shed a tear for me

I'm not worth all the salt in the sea

Or even the salt in this salt shaker

Don't follow me please

I'm not worth the bumps in the long road ahead

Not even the wrinkles on this page

Don't look at me

I'm not worth all the pictures in the world

Not even this mirror on this wall

Don't talk to me

I'm not worth all the words in the world

Not even a simple hello

Don't think about me

I'm not worth all the thoughts in the world

Not even one about what my name is

And whatever you do

Don't bleed for me

I'm not even worth one drop

Not For The Credit

For those you love

You would go the extra mile

Just to go the extra mile

Not for the credit

But for the satisfaction

You would want tell everyone

About that person

Just to let the world know they exist

Not for the credit in knowing them

But for the satisfaction

That person fills your heart with joy

And your stomach with butterflies

And you tell people about this feeling

Not for the credit that you're in love

But for the satisfaction

You always want to be with that person

And their touch sends sparks down your spine

So you make sure you're near them as often as possible

Not for the credit

But for the satisfaction